Thomas B. Marsh: The First President of the Quorum of the Twelve Who Left and Then Came Back — 'I Cannot Live Without a Reconciliation'

Thomas B. Marsh (1800–1866) was one of the most spiritually prepared men in the early Church. Before his conversion, he had an unusual experience: he learned from a stranger that soon a new church would be established and that he should join it. He traveled to Palmyra, met the Smith family, and obtained the first 16 lines of the Book of Mormon ever shown to anyone outside the translation process.

Marsh was chosen by the Three Witnesses as the first President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. The Lord gave him a powerful personal revelation (D&C 112) calling him to carry the gospel to all nations.

But in 1838, amid the Missouri crises, Thomas B. Marsh left the Church. Popular history simplifies the reason to a dispute over milk cream — but the full picture involved genuine disillusionment, pride, and misplaced trust.

For nearly 19 years he wandered without the Church. By 1857, he was old, poor, nearly blind, and broken in health. He traveled to Salt Lake City and asked to be forgiven.

Brigham Young received him warmly. In a General Conference address, Marsh said: 'I have sinned against Heaven and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son. I know that the latter-day work is true... I have seen the Savior in a vision. I have seen angels. I know this work is true.’

He then added one of the most powerful warnings in Church history: 'Do not seek to excel one another... that is what ruined me. Pride. If Brother Brigham had that which I threw away, I would not say it is worth nothing.'